Monday, March 27, 2006

Let Boys Be Boys

God must have had a sense of humor when he gave me two boys. To be truthful, I’m as “soft” as they come. I enjoy snuggling up with a good book, bubble baths, and mochas (with extra chocolate). I’m gentle and soft spoken, and my idea of “outdoor recreation” is talking my dog for a walk on the paved bike trail near our home. And to be honest, I used to have a hard time “letting boys be boys.”

It all started when Cory was not even a year old. My husband John would grab Cory by the back of his zippered, footie pajamas and fly him around the house like Superman. Cory would squeal in delight. John would fly him faster and higher, and I literally had to hide my eyes.

Then Cory turned two and the favorite game of my “men” was Jumping Joe and the Rock Monster. Cory would chase John around the apartment with his plastic sword, and then when John was cornered he would turn around and nail Cory with a Big Bird beanbag chair. Cory would go flailing and hit the tiled floor, and I would gasp—sure that he was hurt. But within seconds, Cory would be on his feet and they’d be at it again.

I was finally “clued-in” on the importance of this type of “manly” interaction when I signed up for Dr. Dobson’s video course called “Bringing Up Boys.” (I highly recommend it!) In this course, Dr. Dobson stresses how boys need this male interaction. He claims they actually thrive of being “playfully punched” and having BOTH parents interact on things that interest them.

I decided to try it out. That night after class I approached Cory (who was then 14), and I gave him a big slug on the shoulder. “I hear that you like this type of affection,” I added as I slugged him again.

His jaw dropped, then a huge smile filled his face, “Yeah, I do.”

“Wanna play Nitendo?” I asked.

A bigger jaw drop. A larger smile.

“Are you serious?”

I punched him again, told him I was serious, and then he proceeded to totally kill me in Mario Cart. (Okay, I tried . . .)

“Mom,” he said when the game was finished. “I don’t know what they’re telling you at that class, but keep going.”

I did keep going, and what I learned most of all is to “let boys be boys”—which has benefited our whole family. Yet, without this class and without my husband’s rough-housing, I wonder what turn my parenting would have taken us. Would I have tried to subdue my boys, turning them into something calmer and gentler than God had designed them to be? Most likely yes. After all, that what I’M most comfortable with.

I read a controversial column on this on Author Doug Giles shares his opinion on “Raising Boys That Feminists Will Hate,” and it’s worth a read.

So what do you think? Do you agree that our society is trying to make boys too gentle? I’d love to hear your comments!


At Monday, 27 March, 2006, Blogger ScrollSquirrel said...

LOVE the blog, Trish! And I read your last post...about the adoption...I have a heart for orphans so that blessed my heart.

Cheryl Wyatt

At Monday, 27 March, 2006, Blogger Gina said...

I can totally relate to the boy thing. When my three sons and their dad have a wrestle fest, I have to leave the room. I made the mistake of watching a couple of times and I would constantly cringe and yell, "watch his neck...careful...not too rough." Now I just pray that everyone will be fine and they usually are, except for some minor rug burns and scraps.

At Tuesday, 28 March, 2006, Blogger Michelle said...

I absolutely think our present society is trying to feminize boys. Everything is politically correct now. There are almost NO male teachers in public schools and more female principals, too. So there is not as much competition to do well. Everybody wins. UGH! I think that's why boys play so many video games and such. They MUST win. It's in their blood. So if the school doesn't expect excellence, Nintendo sure does. :)

At Tuesday, 28 March, 2006, Blogger Cara Putman said...

Tricia, there are times I'm sure we were separated at birth :-). I am so girly I kept telling God I just wanted three little girls with lots of frills, lace and bows. So He gave me Abigail, a little Cinderella if there ever was one. And then Jonathan. I cringed and was in denial most of that pregnancy. Then Jonathan arrived, and I've loved every moment. Though our small group is going through the Bringing Up Boys video series right now and there are times I groan and ask "Are you sure you got this right when you made me the mother of a little boy, God?"


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