Tuesday, January 02, 2007

10 Things I Wish I Had Known by Michelle Hortenberry

10 Things I Wish I Had Known About Parenting

1. Don't spend hundreds of dollars on the cutest new toys. All they want to play with is the box.

2. Don't spend hundreds of dollars on the cutest new clothes. All they are going to do is puke on it, poop in it, or roll around in the mud while wearing it. Instead spend your money on the best laundry detergent money can buy.

3. Toddlers and litter boxes are not a good combination. It is NOT a giant tootsie roll!

4. Children don't need to go to all of the expensive places of entertainment. They can have fun anywhere, as long as they get to go with you.

5. Your mother really did have eyes on the back of her head.

6. Money really doesn't grow on trees. I have to work an entire day to buy my family one fattening meal at McDonalds.

7. Safety scissors can cut hair.

8. Always keep a spare key outside. Toddlers seem to know how to lock a door to keep you out but can't seem to figure out how to unlock it to let you back in.

9. If you don't teach your toddler to unlock the door, you will worry about him not getting out in a fire. If you do teach him to unlock the door, you will worry about him leaving while you are in the shower (which he will at least once).

10. Though you may wish to forget some things about their childhood, you always remember their voice when the look at you with big, innocent eyes and say "I wuv you mommy".

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