Meet Guest Blogger Rachel Hauck!
Today’s guest blogger is Rachel Hauck.
Rachel’s first novel was published in ’04 and she has three more coming out this year. Go Rachel!
For web site, blog and book news go to:
Rachel's thoughts on perfect parenting . . .
I'm a perfect parent. Gasp! I know, you've been striving for years to be perfect, but to no avail. So how do I get to be a perfect parent?
I don't have children. So, sure I can be a perfect parent - in theory.
Breathe a sigh of relief now. There are no perfect parents. There are no perfect children.
As one who doesn't have children, but has worked in youth ministry for over eighteen years, I know the theories and philosophies of parenting. I see what the Word says about raising children, I just don't have to do it.
My youth pastor husband and I have observed a lot of parenting methods over the years. It's not an easy task. But here are a few pointers I hope will help:
Give yourself a break. You don't have to be perfect, nor raise perfect children.
Teaching them to control their emotions and deal with wrong attitudes will do far more for their character than arguing over time spent in the bathroom, and what time a sixteen-year-old has to be in bed on a school night.
Speaking of ... pick your battles. Is your son's long hair or baggy jeans worth the fight? As kids grow older, they want to express themselves, share their budding values and ideas. Talk to them about these things, but watch arguing or trying to conform them to your opinions. Save your foot-putting-down for moral and character issues like lying, sexuality or being lazy about school work.
Just because you did it, doesn't mean you have to let them. I've heard this philosophy from so many parent, "Well, we did it." And were you right? If you were making out with your boyfriend or girlfriend in the back seat of a car, you can bet your kids will take it one step further.
Remember the Bible tells us discipline is a demonstration of love. The same as hugs and kisses. Giving into your children for everything is not loving them.
The best example of Godly living comes from the parents. You can raise your children in church, but if they don't see Godly principles demonstrated at home, the work of Sunday school and youth group can be negated.
As your children grow older, work with them to make decisions about friends, dating, school, jobs, etc. by sitting down and talking it out. Encourage them to pray and hear from God. Use pro and con lists. Many times the children will bring bargaining chips to the table that will surprise you.
Not all children are the same. The Bible tells us to raise a child in the way he/she should go. Realize the strengths and weaknesses of each child and respond accordingly.
As your children grow older, give them more responsibility and independence. Tie the two together. For example, "If you can't keep your room clean, can't keep a curfew, how do you expect me to give you the keys to the car?"
Remember a fifteen-year-old's mistakes carry less consequences than a twenty-one-year old's mistakes. If you have a difficult teen, maybe letting them "go" a little will help him/her see they aren't as wise as they think.
Every teen has their currency: the phone, time with friends, the internet, respect of others, trust ... Find out what your kid's currency is and work with it.
Ask the Lord for a Scripture for each child. Pray it over them. Speak life and encouragement over your children.
I'll close with this. When Noah was born, his father pronounced over him, "This one will give us relief and comfort from the toil of our hands due to the ground being cursed by the Lord."
While I'm sure Noah's father didn't anticipate a flood, God did use Noah to change the way the world work. In many ways, he was used to bring peace and comfort.
A parent's blessing, especially the blessing of the father, is very powerful. A word of blessing and peace can go a very long way.
May God bless you in your journey of parenting!