Don't You Forget About Me (Simple Minds)
When ever people meet my mom, they tell me I’m just like her. I take that as a compliment. She’s friendly, thoughtful, and cares for people. And while our talents and jobs lie in different areas, we both take joy in connecting with people.To add to that, I call my daughter “mini-me.” (Leslie actually started calling herself that first.) We both love reading, writing, and movies. She loves being crafty and creative and is not afraid to try something new.
There are differences, of course, but many, many things that are alike. In fact, I can even go one step further and note the similarities between my grandmother and my mom. And, if I follow the influential trail, I can even connect the dots and see how my grandmother has influenced generations.
I suppose I’m figuring out what the experts have known for years.
“The relationship that a mother has with her own mother, regardless of decade of birth or generational label, clearly affects her own personal parenting style and image of herself as a mom,” say Maria T. Baily and Bonnie Ulman, author of Trillion-Dollar Moms. “In other words, mothers are constantly birthing, raising, and influencing the next generation of mothers who will, in turn, continue the cycle in the future. Decade to decade the U.S. population of mothers has impacted corporate growth, political outcomes, and cultural trends.”
So, what do you think? Can you see this influence passed down through your family? To take that one step further, which of your influences do you hope you pass on?
posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:29 AM
6 Comments:
Oh yeah. That's a big part of why we decided I needed to stay home to raise our kids. We want to help our kids discover the way God uniquely made them to serve Him. And to enjoy the discovery process. :)
But it can be a little freaky at times to see your children acting the way you did at that age. My daughter is so much like me in many ways. And my son reminds me of my little brother at that age.
Since I'm a pioneer Christian mom - I'm hoping to pass on none of the traits of my family! My mother's mother lives with us and I see why my mother acts the way she does - but I'm seriously praying for that "Let's not talk to each other about anything important" thing to be broken (along with a whole list of other things). I actually want to have a realtionship with my daughters.
Sarah,
My mother's mother lives with us too and I've understand my mom and myself so much better since she's been here.
Of course, what I'm hoping to pass on is having "open doors" instead of a "perfectly upkept home." There are always people over to hang out or eat with us. This is new to my grandma, but she's enjoying it! She's also learning to live with the house that gets dirty quick because of these guests!
Unfortunately, my mom and I have never been close. I see a lot of traits in myself that I WISH I'd not gotten from my mother. :-? BUT, there are a few others that sneak out occasionally that I'm actually glad I got from my Mom ... compassion, nurturing, faith in God.
I agree with one of the other posters, though, that sometimes you get the "let's not talk about anything important" thing with your Mom, and that makes things really difficult. When you've grown up with an attitude like that in the home, it's hard not to let that pass on to the next generation! I'm trying soooo hard to not pass that on to my daughter (who my Mom claims is a little version of me). :-?
I think for the most part we all become our mothers. Part of that is good, part of that is not so good. If nothing else it helps us understand them so much better.
My brother always says that we are the closest family that don't talk about anything important. I bet the other two ladies who made that comment had baby boomer parents too. Seems to be a trait of the boomers parenting style. It's still difficult, and I'm 32 and my parents are 52 & 53.
One thing John and I noticed is that our parents love conversing . . . about themselves. Maybe that is why I'm SO needy for approval from everyone else in my life. My dad will talk on and on about chores, work, etc.
"Hey Dad, I wrote a new book."
"That's nice, dear. I have to go now and get gas in my truck."
No joke!
John and I think it's wierd that we're in the process of adopting from China and we either get no comment from our parents. Or discouragement. And even downright disapproval from one.
The more I've researched, the more I've learned that kids were viewed negatively by Boomers. (I have tons of notes on this, and maybe this should be a blog of it's own.)
Yes, I felt loved, but my family didn't have near the closeness I have with my kids.
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