Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Guest Blogger...Alyice Edrich

16 Years Of Marriage And Still Counting By Alyice Edrich

I can't believe it. Who would have thought we'd make it this far? My husband and I have been married for 16 years and we're still going strong! To be honest, I never thought we'd make it this far.

While my husband's mom and dad are a great example of what it means to make a commitment and make your marriage work (they'll be celebrating 50 years in November!), my side of the family has a hard time staying married to each other. In fact, I was so afraid we'd be divorced before we hit our one-year anniversary that I kept my maiden name hyphened with my married name for the first 6 months of my marriage. Today, I can honestly say that I don't worry about divorce and haven't for many years. I think hitting the five year anniversary mark and renewing our vows really helped me put things into perspective.

Why has our marriage lasted 14 years? Only God truly knows the true answer, but I've come up with a few good reasons:

1.. We made a commitment to work things out no matter how hard life got (and believe me it had some very rocky and treacherous terrain).

2.. We took out the word "obey" in our wedding vows because we believed we were not each other's property.

3.. We take the time to apologize-even when we don't want to.

4.. We lift each other up to others. 5.. We accept the fact that we both have baggage that we've brought into this marriage and we've agreed to work through that baggage together.

6.. We've learned to listen to one another-even when sometimes it's a boring thing to do.

7.. We learned to joke about ourselves and each other.

8.. We don't intentionally go around hurting each other.

9.. We vent to close friends who can keep our vents in confidence and not hold them against our spouse.

10.. We've learned to let our guard down with each other.

11.. We trust each other and do what we can to keep that trust.

12.. We have faith that the Lord brought us together.

13.. We love each other and remind each other of this, often.

14.. We understand that marriage takes work and commitment and are willing to do our part to make our marriage work until death do us part.

In 16 years of marriage, I've learned that marriages aren't fairy tales made up of bubbly, happy go-lucky days and nights. They are roller coaster rides with lots of ups and downs. But if you really want to keep that "new puppy-love" feeling alive just toss in some one-on-one time, a little romance, and a lot of forgiveness.

Forgive each other for driving each other crazy, for the little wrongs you've done to one another, and for anything else that isn't a "big deal" in the larger scheme of things.

Alyice Edrich is a freelance writer and the editor of an award winning magazine for BUSY parents.

Visit her at http://thedabblingmum.com/ or read her about her life at http://dmwrites.com/

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