Generation NeXt Parenting

Working to Eliminate Teen Pregnancy

What's the buzz echoing over the airwaves? The media attention over the fact that Bristol Palin, daughter of Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin is pregnant at 17-years-old.

With the buzz, two questions are on our minds. If a teen finds herself pregnant are the parents to blame? Or should we point our fingers at the teen’s own bad choices?

We ask because the issue hits home. If someone like, Governor Sarah Palin, who has her act together well enough to be on the Republican ticket is facing her daughter’s teen pregnancy, what hope is there for the rest of us?

If you don’t want your daughter to be one of the one million teen girls who find themselves pregnant every year, consider this:

1. Be a Role Model. Our kids often follow where we lead. Consider your life. Are you living with integrity? Are you only having sex within the bounds of marriage? The saying, “Do what I say not what I do” never works.

2. Talk about what love is. Love is not sex. Going “all the way” with someone doesn’t prove your love. (No matter what they show on television.) True love is shown through life-long commitment and by valuing the other person. Remind teens that they are the one responsible for setting sexual limits on a relationship. Remind young women, “Sex won't make him yours. A baby won't make him stay.”

3. Remind kids it CAN happen to them. Having sex, even so called "protected" sex, can lead to pregnancy. It can happen even to kids from a good family. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is to not have sex.

4. Emphasize that even “good girls” get pregnant. Having a good report card, being a good person, having an important parent, or being conscientious will not protect you from pregnancy. According to teenpregnancy.org, 1 in 3 young women get pregnant at least once before they turn 20--good girls included.

5. Let your daughter know that most teens wished they had waited. Sex before marriage can not only lead to pregnancy, but there are other health concerns, such as STDs. There is also emotional baggage. According to teenpregnancy.org, 60% of teens “wished they had waited longer” to have sex.

6. Encourage your teen to plan her actions BEFORE the situation arises. Talk about set boundaries and not putting herself in situations that will cause her to compromise those decisions. Help her make good plans for her future and stick to goals.

7. Talk about media’s wrong messages. The media (television, radio, movies, music videos, magazines, the Internet) are chock full of material sending the wrong messages. Just because we see everyone in Hollywood having sex and having babies, doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Babies are a responsibility, not a fashion accessory.

8. Encourage secondary purity. Teens can say “no” even if they’ve said "yes" before. Today your daughter can make the right choice and choose abstinence.

9. Realize parents can only do so much … but make sure it’s done! As a parent, you cannot be around your child 24/7. Yet, we can do our best to prepare our daughters. Don’t wait.

10. Let you kids know you are available to talk about every issue in life. It's also important for parents to open up a two way conversation, not a one-way lecture. Parents can do this by turning the above topics into questions such as: What are your boundaries? Do you think sex proves you love someone? What do you think of the messages media gives out?

Let your voice be heard...
Does the fact that vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin's unwed teenage daughter is pregnant alter your opinion of her as a White House hopeful?
Answer here

Need help talking to your teens? My Life, Unscripted (Thomas Nelson) is a book for teen girls, encouraging them to script their lives instead of being caught up in the drama and emotions of the moment.

A former teen mom, Tricia Goyer is also the author of Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Mom

Labels: Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin, teen pregnancy

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 9:39 AM 5 comments

Something Worth Remembering...

For years, I had a memory problem.

As a young mom my problem was self-induced.

You see, I was doing well in life. I was married to a great guy, was involved in a good church, had surrounded myself with faithful friends, and was even fulfilling my dream of seeing my words in print. It seemed only natural to want to forget my teen years. To pretend they never happened. To blank out that time period when . . . (I was trying to forget, remember?)

Though I didn't speak of those days past, I really didn't forget. How could I when I had a son as a reminder of my teenage pregnancy? He was something beautiful that came out of pretty tough times.

But there was Someone else who didn't forget. God was there during the dark times. He was there when I dropped out of regular high school so I didn't have to see my old boyfriend with his new girlfriend. He was there when I felt my life was over, when I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep all day. He was also there when, at six-month's pregnant, I wrapped my arms around my expanding stomach and asked Jesus to "please fix my screwed up life."

Of course, there were others who found out about my pregnancy despite my silence. Like my pastor for example. As my birthday neared one year I could see his mind calculating . . . If Tricia's turning 25 and Cory is 8. Well, that would make her 17?!

Once my pastor knew I felt he and God were in the business of encouraging me to stop faking my memory problem. The two teamed up, you see-Pastor Dan and God-and both prodded me to help those facing the same struggles I once did. The result was Hope Pregnancy Center (http://www.hopepregnancycenter.org/). I was one of the three founders of this amazing ministry. After that I started working with teen moms through a program called Teen MOPS (www.mops.org/teen).

But God wasn't finished with me yet, and He gave me the idea for a parenting book for young moms facing the same struggles I once went through. And Life Interrupted: The Scoop on Being a Young Moms was born.You can find more info about the book on my website (www.triciagoyer.com).

The goal of the book is to provide encouragement to young moms and remind them, "You can do it. You matter!" While you're on my website, also be sure to check out the photos of my husband and kids. Pretty amazing, aren't they?

Finally, I'd like to leave you with one last thought. It's something I read from my daily Bible Reading this morning.

Psalms 78:4 says, "We will not hide these truths . . . but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the LORD. We will tell of his power and the mighty miracles he did."

You see, when it comes to our changed hearts, God is more into remembering than forgetting. He wants us to remember how He helped us. He wants us to tell of the power and the miracles He did in our lives. And guess what? You're part of that next generation I'm shouting it out to! God transformed my life from a beaten-down, teary-eyed teen to someone who can write cool books for Him. That's something worth remembering!

Labels: hope pregnancy center, mops, teen mops, teen pregnancy

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:02 AM 1 comments