Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Giving advice to your tween/teen!


As a mother of 3 kids (ages 19, 16, and 14) and a 17 year old exchange student. I've found a few things that work well when giving advice to preteens/teens:

1) Be honest about your past and your mistakes. Kids know you're not perfect, and it helps when you fess up. They respect when you're real with them.


2) Do something together and let the conversation come up. A bike ride, walk around the block, or drive down to favorite coffee place is great. You're shoulder-to-shoulder with your kid, instead of face to face. It's MUCH less threatening.


3) Dinner table is a great time for conversation. Make it a regular part of day. Also, I've found late at night--right when we're ready to go to bed--kids are finally unwound enough to open up. Stay up and listen.


4) Don't accuse. Rather say things like, "I've noticed ..." or "I was thinking ..." or "What do you think about ..." It makes it feel like a conversation (which it should be), not a lecture.


5) Have books lying around on topics you'd like to discuss. Then when your child picks one up and skims through it, it becomes a more natural part of the conversation.

What about you...how do you offer advice to your tween/teens?

4 Comments:

At Thursday, 05 March, 2009, Blogger Name: Holly Bowne said...

This is great advice. I've been focusing more on applying numbers 3 and 4 with my own teens.

I used to feel a bit frustrated when my daughter would decide to talk at 10:00 p.m. when I was tired and I knew she had to get up for school the next day. But then I realized, I need to take it when I can get it! She's only with me for a few more years!

 
At Friday, 06 March, 2009, Anonymous Carol @SheLives said...

Excellent tips. I see a couple here that I can use!

Here are a couple in return:

If you have a great talk with your tween, say so later.

"Yesterday, when we were talking about peer pressure? That was awesome! I love talking about serious stuff with you. You have some really great insights."

Keep your voice down. For some reason, they strain to hear whispering but tune shouting/yelling right out. Sotto voce is so much more effective!

 
At Thursday, 23 April, 2009, Blogger hybrid said...

Great parenting tips, useful and easy followable steps. Thanks for providing these steps. As today most of the teens parents are experiencing with various problems, finding more information related to teens definitely proves to be helpful. To get more teens information parents need to share their views and suggestions with other parents in any teens discussion boards or teens forums. Parenting teenagers is one of the toughest tasks to today's parents.

http://www.troubledteensguide.com/discuss-teens-problems.php

 
At Thursday, 24 February, 2011, Anonymous Mila @ Turning Winds said...

These are really helpful tips. As for myself, I allow my teens to have their friends come over. In a way, I might be able to know who and what kind of friends they have. And probably by getting close to them, they wouldn't hesitate to say things that's bothering my daughter.
I might even be able to listen to the types of conversations they have while I cook something for them. I find it very effective.

 

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