Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!Before 1999, I didn’t think much about heaven. It was out there somewhere, beautiful and wonderful I was sure.
Thinking of it, reminded me of food. (Like everything else reminds me of food, too.) Although meat always smells good when you pass a barbecue, grilling up dinner, if you’re not hungry, has no draw. But the hungrier you are, the more interest you have in what’s under the cover of that grill. And it wasn’t until death met our home that I became hungry for heaven.
It all started when my husband and I moved 1,000 miles from California to Montana. I had one main concern, and that was leaving my aging grandparents behind. A few years after we’d moved, the news I’d dreaded came. My grandfather was dying of cancer and he didn’t have long to live.
The thing that surprised my extended family the most was his desire to spend his last days in Montana. So over Christmas break, my husband and I drove through a blizzard, packed my grandparents up, and moved them to our home.
My grandpa seemed fine at first. Sure, he was a little slower than normal but that was to be expected. Then the weeks and months passed, and the weaker he became the more I started thinking about our eternal home.
I had listened to songs about heaven and read about it in the Bible, and while it was interesting, when you’re in that situation it’s about as filling to your soul as reading a cookbook or watching to a cooking show when your hungry.
Never having lost a close family member before, I had a hundred ideas of how I thought I’d deal with things, but none of them were right.
After four months living with us, my grandfather was bedridden. My grandmother and I would spend time in his room reading Scripture verses and praying with him.
Then, one day the idea of heaven heightened. I was reading aloud to my kids when my grandmother called me into the room. My grandpa was praying with hands lifted. Later he described smelling beautiful scents and seeing white birds and a gentle lion. More than that, he saw his Savior with arms stretched wide.
The next day, my grandfather went into a coma, and while I should have been terribly sad instead my heart nearly burst with joy. Every time I walked into the room it was as if heaven had touched the room with blue electricity. It seemed brighter and filled with the sensations of the brush of angel wings.
I have two final memories of my grandpa’s last waking moments. One was the peace in his eyes, and the other was the kiss he blew my direction. Though unable to speak, he was giving me a final farewell. Or a “see you later” to be exact.
So while I’m not ready for my life to be over today, heaven has great appeal. The small taste of it was enough to last a lifetime, and the reality of it will be a feast that I’m eager to enjoy . . . forever.
Labels: angels, cancer, death, grandparents, heaven, prayers, the bible
Special Does as Special Is
Growing up, I always knew I was special. This was to the credit of three very important people in my life: my mother, my grandma and my grandpa. I knew it because they told me so. I used to be able to draw really well (at least for a kid), and they never let me forget that. I read a lot, too, and they always told me how smart I was.
There were a lot of things I wasn’t good at, of course. I was chubby and had horribly crooked teeth. Also, we were poor, and nice clothes just weren’t an option. In 6th grade I was told I needed glasses. I did need them, badly, but I hardly wore them. Because in the world’s eyes looks are everything, and I was unfortunate enough as it was.
Still, I may not have looked the greatest, but I always knew that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind, too. My grandma always told me I needed to design my own line of greeting cards. That was a worthy goal, I thought. (At the time, neither of us realized how wordy I truly was.)
The amazing thing is that my birth (my life) could have been easily despised. My mom was a single mom, and I was conceived from a college fling. It was short-lived, but serious enough to create me.
Back in the early 70s, people didn’t talk as openly as sex and relationships as they do now. My mother never told my grandparents who had gotten her pregnant and they never asked. And my biological dad didn’t even know about me until I was married and had three kids of my own. I, of course, grew up with a lot of questions about where I came from, but I never questioned my worth.
Somehow, even after I became a single mom myself (I had my son at 17), after I married, and after I had two more kids the idea that I was destined to do great things still hung around somewhere in the back of my mind. It was a seed planted, and one that took root. The plant was slow growing, and the flowers of special things took many, many years to bloom, but I never doubted they would.
This makes me think of my own kids. (And your little ones, too) As a parent, it’s our job—of course—to train them up. It’s up to us to point out their mistakes and help them grow and change. But more than that, it’s also our job to plant the same seeds of worthiness that my mother, my grandma and grandpa placed in me. They focused on what was most important—my heart, my talents, my gifts—and they never let me forget that I could do anything I set my mind to.
I talk to my kids about how great they are, but not often enough, I think. This is something I’m going to work on. I need to remind myself these are seeds of worth that will grow in their hearts and minds, no matter how cruel this world may be.
They are special, because God made them so. He gave them unique talents and gifts with an idea in mind of how He’ll use them to further His kingdom and bring glory to His name. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to remind my kids about this, frequently and with conviction.
After all, even if they may not understand these words when they’re young, or they may roll their eyes when they get older, but deep down they’ll know it’s true. And deep down the seeds of great things will be planted because of you.
Labels: being special, god, grandparents, growing up, parenting, raising kids, sex, single moms
Guest Blogger...Gina Conroy
Staying Close Even Though You’re Far Away
This is reprinted from a published article from 2001 copyright
It had been my mother’s dream for me to attend a Christian college. Yet she didn't realize her answered prayer would put 1500 miles between her and her grandchildren.
Like so many college graduates, my husband and I chose to make our home in a state other than where we grew up. For years we have struggled with moving closer to our roots, but always return to the reasons why we stay. It is a great place to raise children, the cost of living is very affordable, and we are involved in our church and community.
Having grown up in the same house as my grandmother, I know the importance of extended family. Although my children may never have that same experience, their grandparents don’t have to be strangers. Since we chose to live so far away, I feel it is our responsibility to do everything we can to keep our kids close to their grandparents.
Here are several ways we try to strengthen the ties that bind us together:
One of the best things we did was purchase a videophone for each of the grandparents. We chose the phone version (although there is also a camera for the computer) so it would be portable and able to travel to extended family gatherings. So far we have enjoyed Christmas, Thanksgiving and ordinary days with our relatives. Now the grandparents never miss the kids opening their birthday gifts or Christmas presents. They’re right there watching… it’s the next best thing to being there in person.
The next best thing to the videophone is sending videotapes or CDs. Once or twice a year I record a videotape of all the special and everyday events of the kids. The grandparents really appreciate watching the kids grow up and having a keepsake of their most precious moments.
Photographs are very important, especially when the kids are young and changing every couple of months. I used to send my family loose pictures. Then one holiday I gave each grandparent a scrapbook photo album with pictures of the kids. I chose a hinged album so I could send pages to them instead of pictures. Now when I send pictures all they have to do is put the finished pages in the albums. Needless to say the grandparents are very appreciative of this.
If you’re like me when we visit family I take several rolls of pictures. But how many pictures of the same pose do you really need in your albums? With the extra pictures we make family placemats. Just attach photos to a piece of paper and laminate it. You can have dad’s family on one side and mom’s on another. Writing the names of each family member also helps them remember who everyone is.
During the school year, my house becomes cluttered with school papers. I send several school papers and copies of their progress reports to their grandparents. At the end of the fall semester we make calendars for everyone with the papers and artwork I couldn’t bring myself to throw away.
We always send homemade cards and gifts for every holiday. We’ve even surprised grandma with an unexpected birthday fax to office.
We love to sit and look through pictures of the trips to the grandparents’ home. It helps the boys remember the fun times they had and not be so shy the next time we visit.
Let’s not forget all the cyber ways to keep in touch with families. There’s email, blogging, online videos and photo albums that allow access to whoever you invite to your site. It’s easier today to keep in touch than it was twelve years ago when I had my first child.
At least once a year we visit both grandparents try to come and visit us.Since my mom likes to travel, we’ve been meeting her in different states. It’s a fun surprise when we visit a place like Florida and grandma is there.
No matter how long we’ve been apart, when our children get together with their grandparents we all feel as if we had just had Sunday dinner together. It might take some effort, but with help from grandma and grandpa it is possible to stay close even when you’re far away.
Gina Conroy is founder of
Writer...Interrupted and a homeschooling mom to four. She writes about her experiences trying to balance it all at
Portrait of a Writer...Interrupted.Labels: communication ideas, cyber communication, family, gina conroy, grandchildren, grandparents, keeping-in-touch
