Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!It makes no sense, but I really want to have another baby. Okay, not have (since that is no longer a physical possibility for John and I), but get another baby.
It makes no sense because my kids are old. They are ages 18, 15, and 13. They cook for themselves, clean, carry on wise and witty conversations with me, and are pretty much fun to have around.
It also makes no sense because I am a busy writer. I write two, three, four books a year and articles just for fun. I serve at church and mentor young women. I meet friends for lunch and every morning I exercise and enjoy a quiet time with just me and God. My mind tells me that a baby will change all this, but I can’t relate the message to my heart. My heart has a longing that can’t be explained. It just knows what it wants.
For a while I thought I could substitute this longing with puppies. I’ve tried this twice and now realize it doesn’t work. My old dog is seven now (which tells you how long I’ve had this longing), and my new puppy is six months. His name is Jake. I think God gave me Jake because He has a sense of humor.
He is only housebroken when he wants to be. Not only that, he chews on my shoes and he drags my dirty underwear around the house. He also nips at my heels and bites at my elbows as I try to sit at my desk and write. To top it off, Jake is ugly.
Now, my husband predicted this fact when I first begged to bring Jake home. Jake is half Scottie, and half Pomeranian-who-slipped-through the fence. He almost looks like a little lab, just add furry paws and scruffy whiskers that looks like a black beard. He didn’t look like this when we first got him. He was a little bundle of black fluff. But Jake grew into his looks. Of course, I think he’s so ugly he’s cute—as only a parent would.
Still, I think he’s great. Jake follows me to the bathroom and he waits for me outside the door. If I take too long, he pokes his little paw under the door. When I nap in the afternoon, Jake lies under the bed and naps too. When I write, he curls on my feet. Not next to them, but on them. That way he’s sure to know when I move.
Somehow, in an odd way, this puppy makes me feel needed. Sure my editors need me, my readers, and my older kids, but there is no denying this puppy’s need. The same is true for a baby. You can’t forget about them. Can’t get too busy to feed and burp. You have to provide care and sometimes you’re rewarded with a coo. Or a slobbery puppy kiss, in my case.
Sometimes when I look at Jake I understand a little about how God must feel. I bet He loves it when I follow Him. He digs it when I sit at His feet. Yes, I’m ugly and scruffy, but I’m His. God, I bet, loves being needed.
Currently, my husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby. It might take two years, but I’m already looking forward to adding another child to our home.
In the meantime, I have Jake to keep me company. And to remind me that God loves me just as I am, annoyances and all.
Labels: adoption, dogs, god, love, parenting, puppies, teenagers
Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!When I was in the 6th grade I feel in love with the library. It all started when they had a summer reading program. I’m sure it wasn’t the first year they’d offered it, but this year I’d moved within a few miles of the library, and I was old enough to ride my bike there and check out books myself.
The idea was that for every book you read, you listed them on a sheet of paper and earned points for the best reader award. I checked out everything from little kids’ storybooks to young adult novels. My motive to begin with wasn’t about the stories, but rather the points.
I’d check out plastic grocery sacks of books and place them on my handlebars for the ride home. I felt smart and high-achieving by taking so many. Until the day when my pride got the best of me. For some reason that day, the books were heavier that I thought. And as I coasted down a long hill, something felt strange. I think it was a rock in the road that caused the accident. One little bump, and the balance was broke. The heavy books pulled the bike forward, and over the handlebars I flew.
I think maybe I took less books home per day after that. But at the end of the summer the photo of me in the Weed Press, with a stack of books and the label as best reader, made it all—tumble included—worthwhile.
I still have that newspaper clipping somewhere in an old photo album, yellowed and faded. But even more importantly I still cling to the love for books and reading.
That summer didn’t seem important at the time, until later when I was able to look back and recognize the seeds God planted in my heart. You see, I grew up in a home of non-readers. While most kids grew up with Dr. Seuss and Little Golden Books, I can’t remember ever owning one.
Then, at the right time, God introduced me to what would later become my passion. And during the years when I tried to get books published, I’d look back at that summer with the realization that the gift wasn’t something imparted by my family, but given to me by God. It was like a special treasure revealed at the right time.
Childhood summer memories are something many of us cherish, but for me also comes the knowledge that God crafted me with a unique design, one that seemed insignificant until the seeds planted that summer took root. Today it is a might oak of purpose in my life, and I remember that every time I pull out my library card.
Labels: books, childhood, god, library, literacy, reading
Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!I used to be a closet perfectionist, which means that you could come to my house any time during the week and find my closets clean. And the floors. And the toilets.
During those days, the color of Tidy-bowl as it swirled in beautiful blue around the toilets was my idea of entertainment. I shared the joy of my shining bowl with my friend Mr. Clean. He always smiled at that. As a matter of fact, he always smiled.
I discovered one thing about a super clean house, and that’s the fact it makes people uncomfortable. People are worried about taking off their shoes when they come inside. They fret about the toys the kids bring out to play with. No matter how much I told them now to worry, their hands twisted on their laps as they perched on my recently vacuumed sofa afraid to lean back on the plumped and perfect throw pillows.
The day God called me out of my comfort zone, I had no idea how far I would stray. It all started when my pastor asked me to consider helping to launch a crisis pregnancy center. My first response was a firm “no, thank you.” I had my hands full of raising kids, writing articles, and . . . cleaning. I was sure I couldn’t fit in one more thing into my schedule. God thought otherwise.
The next morning as I prayed about Pastor’s request I felt God giving me a firm, “Yes.” Sure, I had everything under control in my life, but God wasn’t concerned about how content I was. As I prayed, I felt Him expanding my vision to consider others in my community whose lives could be helped, whose hearts needed hope.
After I started volunteering my time and energy my perfect house didn’t remain so perfect. Instead of scrubbing the tub until it shined, I volunteered my time training volunteers and remodeling our new center. My kids didn’t keep up their room as well either because they were working along side me, folding baby blankets and stacking diapers. But you know what? The more I served God and saw Him working in lives, the less concerned I was about a dust-free existence. In fact, it felt good to get my hands dirty for a good cause.
In the years since then, God has called me to other things—leading abstinence programs, mentoring young moms, writing books. And I’m actually comfortable if the floor only gets swept once a week or the mail stacks up for two.
Through it all, I discovered God cares more about people than possessions, transformation rather than sanitation. I have a feeling that God was up to some closet cleaning of His own. For He dug into the recesses of my heart, dusted off talents I’d long forgotten about, and showed me the true Joy that can be found through service to others.
And you know what? I’ve never been happier. Except for my relationship with Mr. Clean—I’ve told him I’m more concerned about my Savor’s smile.
Labels: abstinence programs, cleaning house, crisis preganancy center, god, mentoring, parenting, writing
Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!One of the fun things about having kids is getting to act like a kid again. People actually consider you a good parent if you get down on the floor and play with your kids.
My personal favorites are board games. Actually, that isn’t the truth. There is one other thing I like more. Play-dough. I love to squish it, shape it, and sniff it.
When my kids were small I made homemade play-dough. I didn’t like it that much because it was plain grayish, white and smelled of salty bread. That’s until I learned a secret ingredient—kool-aid. Just one small packet of kool-aid in homemade dough made it smell great and look pretty, too.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about Jeremiah 18:4, “But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.”
Like everyone, there are things in my life that I’ve felt God molding, and while it sounds like a beautiful concept, it hurts like heck.
One day, when I was yet again going before God concerning a certain sin-struggle that I couldn’t seem to overcome, I imagined myself clay in a potter’s hands. Okay, I actually imagined bright blue play-dough, but the idea is the same. Molding takes pressure. It takes squishing and shaping. But as I watched in my mind’s eye, I realized that God wasn’t just reforming me just for fun. Instead he had a model for me to follow. He was actually forming me into the shape of Christ. (Galatians 4:19 talks about this very thing.)
Remembering this, helps me somehow. As an amateur, when I sit down with my kids and their play-dough, I’m lucky if I can form a realistic worm. But God forms me with a model in mind. The more I allow Him to shape me, the more I’m like Christ. Now that’s worth all the squishing and shaping, if I say so myself.
Labels: children, christ, god, molding, parenting, play-dough, playing
Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!
Though I grew up in church, the Bible and I weren’t properly introduced until I was already a young mom with three kids. I had aspirations of becoming a writer, so I set my alarm clock early to start writing before my kids woke up. This worked, well, for about a week until I started feeling guilty. That was because I often complained about not having time to read my Bible and pray, yet I had made the time to write.
So the next day when my alarm went off, I decided to read my Bible first. Five minutes should be enough time, I figured.
Amazingly, though my motivation was to ease my conscience, God began to speak. Five minutes turned into fifteen, and soon my little date with the Good Book became a romance with my Maker.
I got myself a journal, and I started jotting down all the Scripture verses that really stood out to me. Sometimes I added my thoughts. Other times written prayers.
I added some devotional books to my morning time, and wow … I found some good stuff. Before I knew it, my morning writing time had been replaced. I grew to need my time with God. Just me and Him and a cup of java. God spoke. I listened. And my heart was transformed.
Twelve years later, I now long for my morning solitude. I get downright crabby when, for some reason or another, I miss out on those moments with my God. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay to be jealous of my time with God. It’s okay to be needy. (I learned that from my one of my Bible readings somewhere along the line.)
How come we, as people, hesitate to take time for what we need most of all? Sometimes when I’m at church, I wonder if I’m the only one who is so needy, and so in love at the same time? I have to admit I’m discouraged when I see people in Sunday school class looking in the front of their Bibles to figure out where Hebrews can be found. I try to share my passion for my morning moments, only to receive comments like ‘I’m not a morning person’ or ‘Well, your kids are bigger now.’ Both are true, sort of. But they have little to do with what the Word of God now means to me.
One Scripture verse that has made it into my journal more than once, and is highlighted in bright yellow, is Acts 4:13: “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”
To sum it up, that’s what my morning quiet time means to me. I’ve been with Jesus, and I’d like to think it gives me more courage and wisdom than if I’d not spent time in His Word. But more than what I get out of it, it’s just the fact I’ve BEEN WITH JESUS. Like a teen girl who just had a first date with the most handsome and popular guy at school, I get that giddy, overwhelmed, undeserved feeling every time OUR time comes to an end. And that’s something I hope I never outgrow.
Labels: bible, courage, devotional books, god, scripture, transformation, wisdome, writing
Prayer Changes Things
1Timothy 2:1, 3 (The Message) The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know…This is the way our savior God wants us to live.
More than anything, parenting takes courage. There is no going with the flow, no just trying to slide by, when it comes to raising kids.
As we enter the uphill battle of child rearing, we must trust the success of our parenting to God. Prayer is key. Sometimes situations are hard to see, and we feel like we are blindly tramping around. In raising kids in this day and age, we need to take all our needs before God and leave the results to Him. In prayer we plead our case before God, we get God’s perspective, and gain confidence and courage.
God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we hoped or expected, but we can trust that He will answer our prayer in the best way, not just sometimes, but every time.
As Gen X parents, we know that these are trying times to be raising children, but we must realize that we are parents now, not by chance, but by design. God has called us to parent specifically during this time in history.
Here are some scriptures for your parenting journey:
1. Prayers of need (Psalm 55:22, Jeremiah 17:7-8)
2. Prayers of thanksgiving (Psalm 40:5, Romans 11:33)
3. Prayers for seeking families (Matthew 11:25, Psalm 116:6-7)
4. Prayers for generations (Psalm 105:708, Psalm 100:5)
©Tricia Goyer
Labels: generation x, god, parenting, prayer
Guest Blogger...Cara Putnam
We’re headed to the Sun
My kids are precocious. I’m not the only one who says that. Most people who spend anytime with them will use that word or a similar one to describe them.
They are best friends. I love that. I know a time will come when they aren’t so willing to play with each other, but at 6 and 3 they really do enjoy each other. Most of the time. Though I did have to laugh a couple weeks ago when they each created a “secret” room in their closets. Well, our daughter created hers first; then she helped our son make his. His has been pretty dormant since the first day. Hers is in constant use. And I have to admit it’s pretty cute when they curl up in their to sleep. Both of them. In one closet. A walk in closet, but still a closet.
They also have imaginations that don’t stop. I love that. And try to cultivate it. Though there are days I’m certain I could hand them a paper bag and they’d create a show or play around it.
Tonight I went outside for 15 minutes to move the water, pull some weeds and other fun, but necessary yard chores. When I went back in, they were decked out in an assortment of carefully thought out gear. See photo.
The hats were just because astronauts wear hats. The jackets and second layer of clothes were to protect their skin from the sun and outer space. The backpacks contained 4 pounds of oxygen that could last as long as they need. Both had boots on to for walking in untested worlds.
Then they had an assortment of items to help them navigate. It was a riot to watch them make their presentation.
I love to watch them create, because God is a creative God. And He created us in His image. I firmly believe that when we are creating whether it’s a piece of art, a play, a book, a meal – anything really – at that time we are mirroring God.
And I love the feeling that comes when I meet God in the creating. There is nothing like having an on-going conversation with Him about how to develop a character or write a chapter or wrap up a book.
As summer speeds by, how do your kids use their imaginations? Are they transported to other worlds? To the bottom of the sea? I can’t wait to hear your stories.
Labels: children's activities, god, siblings, summer vacation
PRAYER CHANGES THINGS
The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know…This is the way our savior God wants us to live. 1Timothy 2:1, 3 (The Message)
More than anything, parenting takes courage. There is no going with the flow, no just trying to slide by, when it comes to raising kids.
As we enter the uphill battle of child rearing, we must trust the success of our parenting to God. Prayer is key. Sometimes situations are hard to see, and we feel like we are blindly tramping around. In raising kids in this day and age, we need to take all our needs before God and leave the results to Him. In prayer we plead our case before God, we get God’s perspective, and gain confidence and courage.
God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we hoped or expected, but we can trust that He will answer our prayer in the best way, not just sometimes, but every time.
As Gen X parents, we know that these are trying times to be raising children, but we must realize that we are parents now, not by chance, but by design. God has called us to parent specifically during this time in history.
Here are some scriptures for the parenting journey:
1. Prayers of need (Psalm 55:22, Jeremiah 17:7-8)
2. Prayers of thanksgiving (Psalm 40:5, Romans 11:33)
3. Prayers for seeking families (Matthew 11:25, Psalm 116:6-7)
4. Prayers for generations (Psalm 105:708, Psalm 100:5)
Labels: god, prayer, raising kids, scripture
SHAKING PAST HABITS
©Tricia Goyer, author of Generation NeXt Parenting
Habits are hard to break. Very hard. Yet dealing with these habits is exactly what I need to do to be the best parent I can be.
I don’t know about you, but I learned quite quickly after my children were born that they are great at teaching all about my faults and weaknesses. I realized I was not quite the together person I thought.
Considering all my hang ups, I realized there were many ‘past issues’ I needed to deal with as a person before I could move toward my potential as a mother. The negative patterns I developed in my teen years were just as heavy to bear as my shameful regrets! These issues spilled over into every other aspect of my life … including my parenting.
Breaking past habits isn’t easy, and sometimes they even require a jackhammer. Ouch. Yet letting God work at digging out our bad habits is essential. Because we all know that what we say, do, struggle with … is what our kids will say, do, and struggle with. Whether we like it or not.
When our kids are toddlers, we think it’s so sweet when they pick up a block and place it to their ear like a cell phone. But the older they get, the more their mimicking matters … and you may find that your rock-solid bad habits have become your children’s too!
The best way I’ve found to deal with past habits is to take the advice God gives in Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV):
Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.Take time to ponder this verse and answer these questions. Share your answers with a friend!
1. What does God see in my heart?
2. What bad habit would God like to see rooted out?
3. What anxious thoughts can I turn over to God?
4. What steps can I take to turn from the offensive toward the everlasting?
God is faithful. He doesn’t bring things to mind to shame us . . . but instead to remind us to turn to Him for wisdom, guidance and help to transform into the type of person He knows we can be!
Labels: bad habits, change, generation next parenting, god, regrets
Guest Blogger...Cara Putnam
We’re at one of those crossroads. Decision time.
No, we’re not considering moving. Eric’s not choosing between jobs. I’m past choosing an agent.
Nope, this involves our kids. Abigail in particular. You see, the kid likes gymnastics. She started about 10 months ago and has steadily moved up in the classes and difficulty level. But she just advanced to what’s called level 2 about 4 weeks ago. I figured we were there for a long time. Our friends kids were. And it seemed pretty standard. Nope. My girl decides to figure out the skills in the last week. She’s flipping all over the house.
And flipping into level 3.
I. Am. Not. Ready. For. This.
The mom in me has watched the level 3 girls. They’ve been there awhile. They look pretty good. They do hard skills.
Abigail’s going to be creamed.
But she’s ready. And my husband has talked me out of protecting her. Oh, I want to. One more session in Level 2 and she’d be better able to compete. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Honestly, I’m concerned that she may get discouraged. Start comparing herself to the other kids and see that she’s not there yet. And these girls are older. Not overly excited about that either. I’m also not ready to confront what comes after this level. I really can’t see us doing team gymnastics. We’re not ready as a family to make that kind of commitment, and frankly I don’t want so much of our energy going in one direction unless God clearly shows us it’s okay.
But she’s worked hard. And we’re not there yet. So I’m grateful that God has given me a husband who’s ready to let her be pushed.
And I learned today that she’s getting the teacher I want. An encourager and pusher. Great combination for Abigail.
So how do you balance decisions like this? Any wisdom to share?
Labels: child rearing, decision making, god, gymnastics, wisdom
Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!In the top middle drawer of my dresser, my bras can be categorized in two styles. Fancy and comfortable. I have about the same number of each, though the latter set gets used twice as much. I often use the “fancy” on the days I want to feel pretty. Or on days when I know my husband will be coming home for lunch, and I can flash him just for fun. (He loves it when I do that, and it usually guarantees a love note via email.) Fancy is worth it on days like that.
But although I’ve tried many kinds of fancy, I’ve discovered that usually within an hour I feel tense and tight and I have to change. Like right now. I’m squirming in my computer chair as if I was bound by a thick rope around my chest. Excuse me while I change.
Ahhh … much better.
Anyway, I was thinking today as I showered how similar my bra selection compares to the books on my bookshelf. Sometimes I hear about an “enlightening” book, and I just have to buy it. I usually read a few pages, and it’s sort of fancy. It may talk about things like spiritual disciplines, or foundational truths, or it may use big words that I sort of understand but don’t completely track with. I usually get a few chapters in before another book takes its place on my nightstand. I tell myself I’ll get back to the fancy book one day, and I have every intention to. After all, these are smart Christian people who have a heart for God. People I should pay attention to.
In the end, I find myself falling back to what’s comfortable. Like my favorite bras, my favorite books get a lot of use. I have a copy of My Utmost for His Highest by
Oswald Chambers. And more than one copy of Experiencing God by
Henry Blackaby. I find myself loving these books because they help me to connect with God and feel His heart.
There are a ton of other great books, too, by authors like
Robert Benson,
John Fischer, and
Brenda Waggoner that are sort of fancy, but in a comfortable way. These, to me, are the best of both worlds. They have forever found a place upon my bookshelf, and I finding myself returning to them again and again.
When it comes to fancy bras, I buy them to make myself feel better and to impress my husband. And, as I was thinking about this in the shower, I wondered if I do the same with my reading choices. Am I trying to make myself look good or impress others when they talk about some books? Or do I think I’ll be able to flash God with a ‘look at this’ and brighten His day?
Just like everybody has different dental records, every mind and heart is unique, too. Maybe what I think is comfortable is fancy to another person. Or what I think is fancy may be someone else’s bite, and that’s okay.
Because in the long run it’s not about looking good, it’s about finding the right support. (Pun totally intended.) My devotional books support me and help me connect with God. They give me the lift I need to look into my Maker’s gaze.
Sure, I’ll keep those other books around. They’ll be dusted, stacked and restacked. Maybe someday my taste will change, and they’ll become my new comfort. But for now I’m going with what works, what fits me, and what provides the support I need.
Labels: books, devotional books, god, jesus
Here is an excellent article...
Make Your Child Thirsty for God
By
Brenda Nixonthis article is a reprint from WT online
When asked, "What’s God like?" one boy answered, "He buys His clothes at Big and Tall."
Over Sunday dinner, Mom asked her young son what he learned in Sunday School. Confidently, he replied, "We learned about God, Moses, and Batman."
When my daughter Lynsey was eight, she wondered aloud, "What does God do on His day off?"
Children are spiritual beings. They were born with a desire to know their Creator. They will ask naive questions or give confused answers in their quest to know Him. Parents must recognize that a child’s questions, misunderstandings and doubts are not disrespectful, but invitations to spiritual development.
As the parent of a tender, impressionable child, you have opportunities to teach your child about God. It’s sobering to realize that 85 percent of a child’s waking, learning hours are spent in the home. The home, not the school, is the center of a child’s learning, and parents are the first and most important teachers.
Scholar and theologian William Barclay counseled, "There are no teachers so effective for good or evil as parents." The Bible recognizes that parents are extremely influential and commands, “Fathers… bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord”(Ephesians 6:4, NIV). In Deuteronomy 6, parents are directed to impress God’s instruction on their children when they walk, lie down and get up. We are to consciously and daily work at being our child’s religious educator.
Two moms were chatting when one said, “My son goes to a Christian school so he gets a Christian education.”
The other replied, “My child goes to a public school and she gets a Christian education, too—every day in our home.”
Rest assured you do not have to be perfect to be your child’s spiritual equipper. Many parents have shared with me their self-doubts. They felt they’d “mess up” or not give the correct answer. It is natural for parents to want their child to receive accurate guidance. Thankfully, we don’t have to have all the answers. If we are authentic, our child will see our deep belief and dependence upon God—His goodness, mercy, wisdom and power. Wisely, one mother recognized that she didn’t always have to "quench the thirst" of her son’s spiritual needs but it was her responsibility to "create the thirst." Here are a few practical suggestions to help you be effective in creating your child’s thirst:
Seize any occasion to speak of God. Each morning I wake my daughter Laura for school with, “This is the day the Lord has made.” Although Laura’s not always ready to “rejoice and be glad,” this is my way of reminding her that each day is a gift from our Creator.
On colorful autumn days when the leaves are a rainbow of vivid colors, I remind my children of the beauty God gives His children. Often I’ll quote Goethe who said, “Nature is the living, visible garment of God.” We can make any circumstance our platform to teach spiritual truths.
One mother told me she helps her son with Scripture memorization. “It is amazing what my 4-year-old will learn to the tune of ‘Mary Had a Little Lamb’ or ‘Row, Row, Row Your Boat,’” she said. I applaud parents who teach their children Bible verses because it is “putting on the armor of God” for life’s battles.
Weave spiritual lessons into daily conversations. One spring Laura and I did some gardening on our daffodils and day lilies. As we knelt in the dirt, I explained the importance of clearing away old leaves and debris from the emerging plants. This will allow them fresh air and sun for growth. “It’s like that in our lives, too,” I went on. “We must clear away attitudes and behaviors that keep us from growing toward God.” Even when we’re running to or from sports, school or church, we can sprinkle our conversations with spiritual instruction.
Around your home, place visible reminders that testify to your faith in God. I remember the bronze cast of praying hands Mom and Dad had for years in our living room. The well-read family Bible remains on their coffee table today. Now, as a parent, I tape up Bible verses on mirrors, the refrigerator and even on my car visor. The ones in the car humbly remind me that my children are watching my attitudes towards other drivers. Ask yourself, “Does my home have visual symbols of my faith?”
Walk the talk. Children are visual learners. What they see has more impact than what they hear. Our beliefs about God must be lived out rather than just repeated. If we want our child to accept the Father’s forgiveness, we must forgive. If we want our child to know that God is long-suffering, we must be patient. If we accept God’s grace, we must give grace. If we want a child to understand charity, we must give. One father testified that for him, this means going the speed limit to model obeying the law. Parents are God’s ambassadors—of His message and His image. What are we teaching our child about God through our behavior? Consider Martin Luther’s sobering comment: “I have difficulty praying the Lord’s Prayer because whenever I think of my own father, who was hard, unyielding and relentless, I cannot help but think of God that way.”
Attend church regularly. Belonging to a community of believers supports the Christian education happening at home. Perhaps the Sunday School lesson, music or sermon will generate interesting questions for dinnertime conversation. Regular church attendance puts your child in touch with teachers, leaders and other Christians who can help satisfy his spiritual thirst. It’s also a lesson in cultivating friendships with those who are like-minded in spiritual matters (Proverbs 1:10,15). May this powerful example of living be a pattern your child will follow. William Bennett, author of The Book of Virtues, said that the kids he sees who are grounded in faith, morality and decency had parents who took the time to instill these qualities in their children. It is those kids, says Bennett, who can overcome the world. He explains, “When there is Christ, there is grace. And it’s in that grace that we can stand firmly rooted.”
Today—in every way—make your child thirsty for the God who loves him with an everlasting love and who will enable him to overcome the world. What a significant opportunity!
As a parenting speaker and writer, BRENDA NIXON is dedicated to building stronger families through parent empowerment. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and can be reached through her Web site
www.brendanixon.com.
Labels: god, parenting, parenting advice, parenting resources, spiritual matters, teaching
Guest Blogger...Cara Putnam
This has been one of those springs. You know, the kind when you have to deal with issues you never thought in a million years would confront you.
Tuesday our Mason chased her last bunny rabbit. She was our first child and the only dog our children had owned. We often joked that we started to have kids because we hadn’t killed the puppy and she’d actually turned out really well.
On top of the miscarriage, losing Mason was a lot to deal with for Abigail and Jonathan. In many, many ways, this loss was much more real. They’d wrestled with Mason, hugged on her, taken her for walks. The baby was an idea, an exciting one but still an idea of things to come.
Our house has seemed horribly empty this week without someone to greet us each time we came home. So yesterday afternoon, we headed to a local shelter. We didn’t intend to bring home a puppy, but we did. Isn’t she cute?
As we spent time at the shelter, I was reminded of why I am so glad that God loved each of us enough to send His Son just for me. Or you. Or your neighbor. If He’d selected who to love like we selected our puppy, it would be a truly scary world.
We left a lot of great dogs behind. We only had room for one. God has unending room for each of us in heaven.
We didn’t want to spend a lot of time retraining an older dog who might have quirks we couldn’t quickly identify. God delights in teaching us about Himself and pruning our character.
Some of the dogs were too big. Or too energetic. Or too needy. With two small kids, we carefully weighed the personalities and other issues of the dogs. This one had no training and was two. That meant too much work.
This one was bigger than Jonathan. This one had too much energy and while trainable would scare Jonathan. Ahh. This one seems perfect.
Fortunately, God doesn’t require perfection from us. Instead, He knows that the only way to become perfect is through His Son Jesus. It’s only when I’m covered in His blood that I can stand in the throne room of heaven. Not because of a single thing I’ve done. But because when God looks at me, He sees Jesus. He also sees me as His perfect creation. And that’s enough.
And I’m so grateful. Because on my own, I could never measure up.
Cara C. Putman
Canteen Dreams -- coming October 2007 (Heartsong Presents)
Sandhill Dreams and Captive Dreams -- 2008 (Heartsong Presents)
The Law, Life & Books: http://carasmusings.blogspot.com
Original Writer for Jake Tremaine at Scenes & Beans:
http://kannerlake.blogspot.com
Labels: family, god, jesus, miscarriage, pets
His faithful servants...
One thing about Gen Xers is that we often have splintered family relationships. Personally I have a mom, a biological dad I didn’t know until I was 27, and three step-dads, the second of which raised me.
Of course, you can imagine the half-siblings, distant cousins, and other new family members that are thrown into the mix.
Well, a few weeks ago I was able to meet my grandpa for the first time. This is my real, paternal grandfather. His blood pumps through my veins.
With my grandfather also came stories of my heritage of my great-grandfather, great-great grandfathers . . . and on.
One thing that I found was amazing was that I discovered I came through a whole line of missionaries and church planters—men and women who loved God with all their heart.
It’s taken me a few weeks for this to sink in. It also made me realize God’s promises are true. God is with the children, grandchildren, and great-great children of His faithful servants. God found me, used me, worked through me … even when I didn’t even know this heritage. God had answered their prayers even when they couldn’t imagine me … and even when I didn’t know they existed.
Pretty amazing, don’t you think?!
Labels: church planters, generation x, god, grandfathers, heritage, missionaries, parents
Miracle of Life...
Recently I read a book by John Fischer called
Confessions of a Caffeinated Christian. In it he talks about the miracle of each life. Now, as a volunteer for a Crisis Pregnancy Center, and as a mom, you’d think I’d get this by now. But have you REALLY thought about it? Each person … each and every one … is someone we can look at with amazement. See those numerous faces, we can run up to them, take their face in our hands and exclaimed, “God wanted you to live! Here, now … YOU.”
I was reading this book as I was staying in Los Vegas. Our hotel was right on the strip and every time I ventured out of my room I got an eyeful of flesh, so for the first few days I found myself staring at my feet as I strolled along. Then, taking John Fischer’s words to heart, I started looking at the faces of those in the crowd—the gamblers, the party girls, the hotel maids … God chose YOU to live, I’d think as I offered a smile and a prayer. This has been HUGE to me. And it’s given me an amazing love for my generation.
http://www.amazon.com/Confessions-Caffeinated-Christian-Wide-Awake-Fischer/dp/0842384340/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/104-8928820-4135926?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1177247950&sr=8-2What words do you think God is speaking to our generation? Why do you think we require God now more than ever?
Labels: babies, generation, god, john fischer, las vegas, miracles
The same can be said for parenting...
If you've worked with people for any length of time you'll come across those difficult cases. You know, the ones that refuse to be fixed. You talk to them, pray for them, tell them about God ... and they don't seem to change. You feel like a failure.
One thing that helped me SO much when it comes to reaching out is realizing that Jesus taught thousands and thousands and only a small percentage of them believed. Jesus gave a message to all who would listened, but only a few were truly transformed ... or at least in the beginning. (Who knows how those seeds later took root?!)
Yet, Jesus kept his eyes open for those whose hearts were ready. We too must connect with the seekers. Remember Zacchaeus? Jesus saw the "wee little man" in the tree and knew he was ready. Who is in the tree in your life ready to hear the good news you have to share?
Once Jesus shared the truth and a new believer accepted it, Jesus brought him/her closer. He shared more, and in some cases he mentored them.
All we can do is the same.
Labels: change, god, jesus, mentoring, message, reaching out, transformation
Special Does as Special Is
Growing up, I always knew I was special. This was to the credit of three very important people in my life: my mother, my grandma and my grandpa. I knew it because they told me so. I used to be able to draw really well (at least for a kid), and they never let me forget that. I read a lot, too, and they always told me how smart I was.
There were a lot of things I wasn’t good at, of course. I was chubby and had horribly crooked teeth. Also, we were poor, and nice clothes just weren’t an option. In 6th grade I was told I needed glasses. I did need them, badly, but I hardly wore them. Because in the world’s eyes looks are everything, and I was unfortunate enough as it was.
Still, I may not have looked the greatest, but I always knew that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind, too. My grandma always told me I needed to design my own line of greeting cards. That was a worthy goal, I thought. (At the time, neither of us realized how wordy I truly was.)
The amazing thing is that my birth (my life) could have been easily despised. My mom was a single mom, and I was conceived from a college fling. It was short-lived, but serious enough to create me.
Back in the early 70s, people didn’t talk as openly as sex and relationships as they do now. My mother never told my grandparents who had gotten her pregnant and they never asked. And my biological dad didn’t even know about me until I was married and had three kids of my own. I, of course, grew up with a lot of questions about where I came from, but I never questioned my worth.
Somehow, even after I became a single mom myself (I had my son at 17), after I married, and after I had two more kids the idea that I was destined to do great things still hung around somewhere in the back of my mind. It was a seed planted, and one that took root. The plant was slow growing, and the flowers of special things took many, many years to bloom, but I never doubted they would.
This makes me think of my own kids. (And your little ones, too) As a parent, it’s our job—of course—to train them up. It’s up to us to point out their mistakes and help them grow and change. But more than that, it’s also our job to plant the same seeds of worthiness that my mother, my grandma and grandpa placed in me. They focused on what was most important—my heart, my talents, my gifts—and they never let me forget that I could do anything I set my mind to.
I talk to my kids about how great they are, but not often enough, I think. This is something I’m going to work on. I need to remind myself these are seeds of worth that will grow in their hearts and minds, no matter how cruel this world may be.
They are special, because God made them so. He gave them unique talents and gifts with an idea in mind of how He’ll use them to further His kingdom and bring glory to His name. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to remind my kids about this, frequently and with conviction.
After all, even if they may not understand these words when they’re young, or they may roll their eyes when they get older, but deep down they’ll know it’s true. And deep down the seeds of great things will be planted because of you.
Labels: being special, god, grandparents, growing up, parenting, raising kids, sex, single moms
How do You Handle This?
We’re in the middle of one of those parenting challenges. The ones where you shake your head and send up non-stop prayers. Or as my husband said, “Are you ready to move?”
Unfortunately, in today’s world, I’m not sure where we could move to protect our kids. And the reality is that today’s world is very different from the world my grandparents grew up in and even changed from the times of my childhood.
All I want to do is shelter my children from ideas and things they aren’t ready to process. I don’t want to have to explain to my daughter why someone can’t really have two mommies. Or why we don’t endorse that. Or why it’s really no different than other sins, but still grieves the heart of God.
I would love to just avoid the issue, but I can’t. The little girl next door is Abigail’s age and they enjoy each other. But someday we’ll have to decide about sleep-overs, etc. It’s just hard.
So today, I would really love to hear how you handle worldview collisions. How do you balance the truth of God’s Word with the reality of today’s world? How do you train your children to understand what you believe and why without it tripping over into teaching them to judge others? I hope you can see how deeply I am agonizing over this. Because at the end of the day I want to handle this parenting challenge in a way that honors God and protects my children.
Labels: cara putnam, child rearing, culture, god, parenting
Living with an eternal perspective...
How do we live today, here on this tangible and finite earth, yet
really live in light of eternity. It's something I struggle with, and I daresay, it's something we all struggle with from time-to-time. Having children can make it that much harder, but sometimes, it can make it easier too!
Tiffany: Keeping a book of blessings so I can look back over my previous tough times and how God was faithful to us then and remember how he will be faithful again.
Michelle R: Whenever I look at the big picture. I think about eternal things in my weekly Bible study and through reading great fiction and the scriptures. I realize that my life is short and what seems like a big deal to me in respect to eternity is really insignificant.
Lisa: fellowship with other Christian women.
Shannon: I think what really gives me an "eternal perspective" is my love for my children, and my protectiveness of them. I try to protect them, but in the end God loves them even more than I do and He is the only one who can truly protect them.
Michelle H: Psalm 127:3 is a great reminder to me. Because I work at home as a day care provider, my entire world can be consumed by children and housework. It helps to remind myself that the children in my life are gifts.
Robin: DAILY SCRIPTURE READING!
Michelle D: I realize that I should be keeping my eyes on Jesus all along. Psalm 139 is really important to me, because it reminds me that God is ALWAYS with me - right beside me - and that He's in charge. I'm so glad that God is God and I am not.
Rene: Lots of prayer. I pray all the time about parenting, and throughout the day, God gives me a lot of reminders about life, truth, reality. So much of what I experience as a parent happens inside my head, without much fact, which then leads to a lot of fear. God continues to work with me to keep me focused on what is right in front of me and how to deal with that. I also remember that it is through suffering and uncomfortable circumstances that we grow, which is helping me let go a little of the kids and let them experience life as it really is, not the Barney version.
Labels: bible study, eternal perspective, faithful, fellowship, god, jesus, love, parenting, prayer, women
Christian Character...
Last week I mentioned that my daughter's team won the STATE championship in basketball.
We were very, very excited. In fact, I can't wait until basketball season starts in November next year!
Also, that night there was another special award given--the Christian Character Award. Each team nominated two players, and my son Cory was one of the nominees for the Crusaders...and he won! We were very excited! The award is given to those who show Christian Character on and off the court. It's voted on by his teammates.
It was a fun night because right before the award ceremony we went out to dinner. We later found out that all the parents of Cory's teammates were frantically trying to find us. We got there just in time . . . and I just thought all the smiles when we walked in were because we looked nice :-) (Yes, everyone knew but us!)
You know, when kids are small, it's enough that they said "thank you," and go potty on the toilet. It's good to know that kids change and grow and DO transform into the wonderful young men and women of God that we've always hoped for.Yes, I was smiling big that night. But I'm also smiling every day as I see what amazing kids they are turning out to be.
Labels: children, christian character, god, sports
