Blue Like Tidy-Bowl Cleaner, Kool-Aid, and Heaven:
Thoughts on Home, Family, and God from the middle of Suburbia!It makes no sense, but I really want to have another baby. Okay, not have (since that is no longer a physical possibility for John and I), but get another baby.
It makes no sense because my kids are old. They are ages 18, 15, and 13. They cook for themselves, clean, carry on wise and witty conversations with me, and are pretty much fun to have around.
It also makes no sense because I am a busy writer. I write two, three, four books a year and articles just for fun. I serve at church and mentor young women. I meet friends for lunch and every morning I exercise and enjoy a quiet time with just me and God. My mind tells me that a baby will change all this, but I can’t relate the message to my heart. My heart has a longing that can’t be explained. It just knows what it wants.
For a while I thought I could substitute this longing with puppies. I’ve tried this twice and now realize it doesn’t work. My old dog is seven now (which tells you how long I’ve had this longing), and my new puppy is six months. His name is Jake. I think God gave me Jake because He has a sense of humor.
He is only housebroken when he wants to be. Not only that, he chews on my shoes and he drags my dirty underwear around the house. He also nips at my heels and bites at my elbows as I try to sit at my desk and write. To top it off, Jake is ugly.
Now, my husband predicted this fact when I first begged to bring Jake home. Jake is half Scottie, and half Pomeranian-who-slipped-through the fence. He almost looks like a little lab, just add furry paws and scruffy whiskers that looks like a black beard. He didn’t look like this when we first got him. He was a little bundle of black fluff. But Jake grew into his looks. Of course, I think he’s so ugly he’s cute—as only a parent would.
Still, I think he’s great. Jake follows me to the bathroom and he waits for me outside the door. If I take too long, he pokes his little paw under the door. When I nap in the afternoon, Jake lies under the bed and naps too. When I write, he curls on my feet. Not next to them, but on them. That way he’s sure to know when I move.
Somehow, in an odd way, this puppy makes me feel needed. Sure my editors need me, my readers, and my older kids, but there is no denying this puppy’s need. The same is true for a baby. You can’t forget about them. Can’t get too busy to feed and burp. You have to provide care and sometimes you’re rewarded with a coo. Or a slobbery puppy kiss, in my case.
Sometimes when I look at Jake I understand a little about how God must feel. I bet He loves it when I follow Him. He digs it when I sit at His feet. Yes, I’m ugly and scruffy, but I’m His. God, I bet, loves being needed.
Currently, my husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby. It might take two years, but I’m already looking forward to adding another child to our home.
In the meantime, I have Jake to keep me company. And to remind me that God loves me just as I am, annoyances and all.
Labels: adoption, dogs, god, love, parenting, puppies, teenagers
Living with an eternal perspective...
How do we live today, here on this tangible and finite earth, yet
really live in light of eternity. It's something I struggle with, and I daresay, it's something we all struggle with from time-to-time. Having children can make it that much harder, but sometimes, it can make it easier too!
Tiffany: Keeping a book of blessings so I can look back over my previous tough times and how God was faithful to us then and remember how he will be faithful again.
Michelle R: Whenever I look at the big picture. I think about eternal things in my weekly Bible study and through reading great fiction and the scriptures. I realize that my life is short and what seems like a big deal to me in respect to eternity is really insignificant.
Lisa: fellowship with other Christian women.
Shannon: I think what really gives me an "eternal perspective" is my love for my children, and my protectiveness of them. I try to protect them, but in the end God loves them even more than I do and He is the only one who can truly protect them.
Michelle H: Psalm 127:3 is a great reminder to me. Because I work at home as a day care provider, my entire world can be consumed by children and housework. It helps to remind myself that the children in my life are gifts.
Robin: DAILY SCRIPTURE READING!
Michelle D: I realize that I should be keeping my eyes on Jesus all along. Psalm 139 is really important to me, because it reminds me that God is ALWAYS with me - right beside me - and that He's in charge. I'm so glad that God is God and I am not.
Rene: Lots of prayer. I pray all the time about parenting, and throughout the day, God gives me a lot of reminders about life, truth, reality. So much of what I experience as a parent happens inside my head, without much fact, which then leads to a lot of fear. God continues to work with me to keep me focused on what is right in front of me and how to deal with that. I also remember that it is through suffering and uncomfortable circumstances that we grow, which is helping me let go a little of the kids and let them experience life as it really is, not the Barney version.
Labels: bible study, eternal perspective, faithful, fellowship, god, jesus, love, parenting, prayer, women
Guest Blogger...Gina Conroy
Anger Management for Six Year Olds
I remember the first time Timmy threw his first fit.
He was two or three and we were outside jumping in the fall leaves. I don't remember what sparked it, probably that he didn't want to come inside, but my little "Angel boy" morphed into a demon.
Blazing hateful eyes, clenched fists, spitting ugly words from his mouth. I really didn't know what to do. He was my third born, but none of the others ever had a tantrum like this. Plus, he was my mild mannered, easy going kid.
We made it through the incident with tears on both our parts and managed to escape in one piece, but the first glimpse of my little Jekyl and Hyde scared me.
As he got older I began to realize what set him off. Embarrassment, when he perceived I was correcting him when he was wrong or disciplining him for something he didn't do.
Take this morning for instance. He was all excited that I asked him to butter toast. So I set him up next to the toaster and after a few minutes I checked on him. He had one glob of butter spread into a small area of each toast.
I said something like "Oh, that's not how you do it. You need to get the butter all over the bread." Then I took his hand and was guiding him. I guess I squeezed his hand too hard because Mr. Hyde came out.
His sweet smiled turned upside down and his angry eyebrows took control. I don't remember what he said, but he was in meltdown mode. Saying things like "I hate you", "I'm going to butter the toast my way," and "I wish you weren't in the family."
I wouldn't let him hold the knife when he was angry, and I could see him fighting for control.
Finally after threatening to break the toaster, he grabbed the knife to start buttering the toast. I very calmly picked him up and was surprised he didn't put up a fight. I carried him to his room and said "I love you." He, in his angered state said, "I hate you."
I managed to get him in his room with a slight struggle and waited for the sound of destruction. A couple of small bangs and that was it.
Later when he was back to the loveable Dr. Jekyll, I asked him if he hated me. He smiled, and said, “No, I love you.”
That’s what I call a happy ending!
Gina Conroy
http://portraitofawriter.ginaconroy.comhttp://writerinterrupted.ginaconroy.com/Labels: anger management, child rearing, gina conroy, love, tantrums
