Thursday, January 29, 2009

Q & A Thursdays!

I'm starting a new series here at the blog. Woot. Woot.

Since my Focus on the Family interview I've been getting heaps of questions about marriage and relationships, so I thought I'd answer a few.

Look for a new question each Thursday. And, do you have a question? Send it here!

Did your husband have a hard time getting over the fact that you had prior relationships? If so, how did he get through it? How did you help?

John and I both had prior relationships ... although he was never physically intimate with his past girlfriends. It's been much easier for me knowing that he'd waited for me and doesn't have a sexual past. It's been harder for John knowing that I have a "history."

For many years I think we both tried to ignore my past. We didn't talk about it. I thought it meant that everything was fine.

It was after the phone call from an old boyfriend, Steven, that these things started coming to the surface. I discovered there was healing I needed.

John has been able to work through those past relationships because:
1) I have sought healing myself. Praying that God will "search my heart" and clean out all the crud.

2) I've been very open to John that I'm committed to him completely. I love him on a daily basis, in ways that he appreciates. I know his top love languages are quality time and physical touch and closeness, so I try to show him love those ways.

3) I leave the door open for him to talk to me about any concerns or struggles he has. For example, he recently mentioned he was worried about us attending my 20-year reunion. When I mentioned that I hadn't dated anyone in my class he was greatly relieved. I think it helps him just knowing he can come to me with questions/concerns.

I hope that helps!

What about you...have you dealt with this issue?


At Friday, 30 January, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we have. I know I have for sure...but it's not a conversation that one just brings up if it doesn't need to be brought up... so I guess I wait and see if he ever has the need to discuss it?


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