Generation NeXt Parenting

I need it, I want it...Buy, Buy, Buy!

Every year billions of dollars are spent by advertisers to make us believe that what we have and who we are aren’t enough. That we need something “better”—looks, food, toys, fun. You name it.

I’m as guilty as the rest when it comes to getting caught up in what the world offers. I’m quick to whip out my VISA card and slow to distinguish my needs from my wants.

And it’s not only “things” that draw me—just the other day I took my daughter to get her hair cut and found myself eagerly flipping through the pages of People magazine—catching up on who’s dating whom and who’s wearing what, and lapping up those voyeuristic photos of glamorous stars caught in their sweatpants and ball caps while shopping at the grocery store.

When I take the time to think about it, I realize how silly this tug is. The people we idolize are simply people, after all. The ‘stuff’ we desire is nothing more than man’s attempt to create something beautiful and worthwhile. The successes we strive after are limited in scope and nature.

So why do we get caught up in worshipping the world’s idols? And more important how can we keep our kids from falling into the same trap? First, we must to realize that we are being deceived by the world’s definition of “need”. I think by continually focusing on our living God we can train ourselves and our kids to not live apart from the world, but to serve Him in it. We can train ourselves to distinguish between reality and lies.

How do you handle this in your own family?

Labels: advertising, contentment, family values, media, money, on-line shopping

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:28 AM 0 comments

Guest Blogger...Cara Putnam

Image.

For women it’s a tense subject. For teenage girls it can be even worse. Who hasn’t wanted to be thinner or had a hard time being satisfied with the body they have? I think when we’re honest, we can all admit we’ve had moments, days, or months where we’ve been there.

On August 4, I found an interesting, eye-opening, and scary story on USAToday.com about girls who are wannarexic. These are young women who wish they could be anorexic! Yikes! And yes, they truly want to be anorexic.

Read the article if you have adolescent girls around you. It’s a scary wake-up call.

The psychologists quoted in the article attribute the trend to girls who think the anorexic girls are the popular ones. If they could just be like those girls, then they too could be popular.

Frankly, I think this is a scary proposition. As the mother of an almost seven year old girl, it reinfornces the difficult job I have as a mother. How do I encourage healthy lifestyle choices and help her see herself as the very special creation that God made?

It’s a tough job, but a critical one. If you have girls, what do you do?

Cara C. Putman
Canteen Dreams -- October 2007; Sandhill Dreams -- May 2008 and Captive
Dreams -- September 2008 (Heartsong Presents)
Deadly Exposure -- June 2008 (LI Suspense)
The Law, Life & Books: http://carasmusings.blogspot.com/
Original Writer for Jake Tremaine at Scenes & Beans:
http://kannerlake.blogspot.com/

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:09 AM 0 comments

Is This You?

Read this article by DeMarco and weigh in...does this capture your family?

Generation X parents outshine Baby Boomers
Laura DeMarco

Group called slackers embraces family.

In the 1990s they were derided as cynical slackers. They were mocked in pop culture as lazy, selfish types who would rather spend their time moping in overpriced coffee shops than moving into adulthood.

But Generation X is all grown up now - and having children.

And when reality finally did bite the 60 million Americans born between 1965 and '79, they didn't react as might be expected. Gen-Xers are embracing family life with a vigor not seen in baby-boomers.

Generation-X includes more stay-at-home dads, fathers working from home and dads cutting back long hours than previous generations, say analysts.

Gen-X moms are distinguishing themselves from baby-boomers by embracing traditional roles. Though they're more college-educated than any previous generation, more Generation-X moms than boomers are staying home or working part time.

Xers' focus on home life shows up in several more parenting trends: they make financial sacrifices in exchange for family time; they're increasingly discipline-oriented; and they let their kids just have fun.

In part this is a reaction to their background, say sociologists. Their childhood was a time of personal and political upheaval. Xers were the first generation with large numbers raised in broken homes. Almost one-third had divorced parents, compared with 13 percent of boomers, according to the Yankelovich research analysis firm. Nearly half of all Xers had working moms. Before they were labeled slackers, they were latchkey kids.

Now Generation-Xers have become homebodies. And they're raising more than half of all children under 18 in the United States, some 40 million kids.

Fathers more involved.

Three years ago, Ellen Barrett, program director for the Heights Parent Center, noticed more men coming to the Cleveland Heights gathering Place.

"In the last three years, we've really had a surge of dads, and not just dads who happen to have the day off or who are home on vacation," she says.

The center now has a busy father's play group with about 40 members, most in their late 20s to mid 30s, that meets several times a month.

The last decade has brought significant changes in the roles of fathers, says James Chung, president of Boston-based Reach Advisors. The company recently released the first major study on Generation X parenting. Titled "From Grunge to Grown Up," it surveyed 3,020 Gen-X and baby boom parents nationwide.

According to the study, 48 percent of Gen-X fathers spend three to six hours per week on child rearing, versus 39 percent of boomer dads. Forty-seven percent of Xers wish they could spend more time with their children, compared to 36 percent of boomers.

The number of stay-at-home dads has jumped 18 percent since 1994, to 189,000 in 2002, according to the Census Bureau.

For Parma resident John Benson, 35, and wife Maria, 36, the decision to swap roles was a financial one. As a writer, Benson could work from home while taking care of their 1- and 3-year-old sons, unlike his wife, who works in accounting.

But the choice was also based on his childhood.

"I was a latchkey kid, and I don't want my kids to be latchkey kids," he says.
That's a common denominator among many Gen-X parents.

"Gen-Xers grew up in the aftermath of a time of much social upheaval, in an era of rapidly increasing divorce rates and mothers rapidly re-entering the work force," says Chung. "Some of them want to raise their families different from the way they grew up."

Bernard Carl Rosen, professor emeritus of sociology at Cornell University and author of "Masks and Mirrors: Generation X and the Chameleon Personality," says it's not just family history that's influencing Xers.

"Generation X is far more insecure than boomers. Their family situation was a bad one, the economy was not in good shape when they were growing up, they've seen a lot of betrayal by politicians. The world they grew up in felt very fragile."

But mom still the anchor.

When one parent does stay at home, it's still more often the mother. What's different is that though there are now more college-educated women among Xers, there also has been an increase in mothers staying at home and working part time.

Census figures found that 10.6 million children under 15 in two-parent homes were being raised by stay-at-home moms in 2002, a 13 percent increase from the previous decade.

Twenty-five percent of Gen-X moms spend 12-plus hours a day on child rearing, according to Reach, more than double that of boomer moms. (Even when boomer children were as young as the Xers' kids, moms spent less time with them, says Chung.)

Cleveland Heights stay-at-home mom Andrea Lynn, 32, says she had long planned to quit working as a librarian when she had children. A past nanny job helped make up her mind.
"I saw what the working two-parent household was like and I didn't want that," says the mother of a 3-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son. "It's too hard to have everything."

Many women are coming to that conclusion.

The number of professional women working part time - by choice - has risen 17 percent from 1994, to 2.9 million according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics.

In part, this is due to the fact that Gen-Xers feel less loyalty to one company than past generations did. Women today also don't feel like they have to prove themselves as much as boomers did - it's a given they can have a career if they want it.

"I knew working full time wasn't going to work out after the birth of my third child," says Bay Village resident Amy Hannum, 33, mother of a 7-year-old son and 5- and 3-year-old daughters. She works three days a week as a development writer at Oberlin College. "I wanted balance in my life."

Hannum plans to return to work full time when her youngest enters school, a career path similar to many Gen-X moms'. Only 16 percent of stay-at-home moms will not consider returning to work, says the Reach survey.

"Now there are more options for women," explains Chung.

Discipline returning.

Choice comes with a price.

"I told my husband that even if we had to give up a car, I wanted to stay home," says Lynn. "He was very supportive."

Willingly making financial sacrifices is a common Gen-X parenting trait, notes Chung. But the cuts are aimed at parents, not children.

There is, however, one thing for their kids that they seem to be cutting back on: the permissiveness of many baby-boomer parents.

"A lot of boomer parents think they have to be friends and buddies with their kids," says Hannum. "A lot of Generation X parents have a good time with kids but have clear boundaries that they are the parents.

Adds Lynn, "You owe it to your kids to teach them how to behave and to have manners. I really believe in limits for kids."

For many, that includes lighter extracurricular schedules.

"There's less demand for enrichment activities" among Gen-X parents, says Chung. "The attitude is more 'let the kids be kids.' "

Such attitudes are natural for Gen-Xers, explains Rosen.

"They are very sensitive to other people's needs," he says. "To the boomer, the world was more or less fashioned to his or her needs, and that included children. I think Generation-X will make better parents than boomers."

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 7:46 AM 1 comments

Attracting the twentysomething worker

Here is a fascinating article from Fortune Magazine on Gen Y in the work place:

The baby-boomers' kids are marching into the workplace, and look out: This crop of twentysomethings really is different. Fortune's Nadira Hira presents a field guide to Generation Y.

(Fortune Magazine) -- Nearly every businessperson over 30 has done it: sat in his office after a staff meeting and - reflecting upon the 25-year-old colleague with two tattoos, a piercing, no watch and a shameless propensity for chatting up the boss - wondered, What is with that guy?!

We all know the type: He's a sartorial Ryan Seacrest, a developmental Ferris Bueller, a professional Carlton Banks. (Not up on twentysomethings' media icons? That's the "American Idol" host, the truant Matthew Broderick movie hero, and the overeager Will Smith sidekick in "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.")

At once a hipster and a climber, he is all nonchalance and expectation. He is new, he is annoying, and he and his female counterparts are invading corporate offices across America.

Generation Y: Its members are different in many respects, from their upbringing to their politics. But it might be their effect on the workplace that makes them truly noteworthy - more so than other generations of twentysomethings that writers have been collectively profiling since time immemorial.

They're ambitious, they're demanding and they question everything, so if there isn't a good reason for that long commute or late night, don't expect them to do it. When it comes to loyalty, the companies they work for are last on their list - behind their families, their friends, their communities, their co-workers and, of course, themselves.

But there are a whole lot of them. And as the baby-boomers begin to retire, triggering a ballyhooed worker shortage, businesses are realizing that they may have no choice but to accommodate these curious Gen Y creatures. Especially because if they don't, the creatures will simply go home to their parents, who in all likelihood will welcome them back.

Some 64 million skilled workers will be able to retire by the end of this decade, according to the Conference Board, and companies will need to go the extra mile to replace them, even if it means putting up with some outsized expectations. There is a precedent for this: In April 1969, Fortune wrote, "Because the demand for their services so greatly exceeds the supply, young graduates are in a strong position to dictate terms to their prospective employers. Young employees are demanding that they be given productive tasks to do from the first day of work, and that the people they work for notice and react to their performance."

Those were the early baby-boomers, and - with their '60s sensibility and navel-gazing - they left their mark on just about every institution they passed through. Now come their children, to confound them. The kids - self-absorbed, gregarious, multitasking, loud, optimistic, pierced - are exactly what the boomers raised them to be, and now they're being themselves all over the business world.

It's going to be great.

"This is the most high-maintenance workforce in the history of the world," says Bruce Tulgan, the founder of leading generational-research firm RainmakerThinking. "The good news is they're also going to be the most high-performing workforce in the history of the world. They walk in with more information in their heads, more information at their fingertips - and, sure, they have high expectations, but they have the highest expectations first and foremost for themselves."

Read the rest of the article here!

Labels: employment, generation y, generational differences

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 10:17 AM 0 comments

Seven Things I Learned at Summer Camp

Last week I was blessed to attend summer camp. Actually, my whole family attended to serve in a drama ministry. I also had the joy of watching three boys, ages 3, 4, and 6 while their parents helped in the kitchen. Yes, boys are active but some of my best times were playing with them in the sand at the lake with the sun smiling down on us.

Still, I came away from camp with more than a sun tan. I also learned some great things about my (our) walk with God!

1. Everyone needs a time to escape with God. Isaiah 49:10-11 says, “For the Lord in his mercy will lead them beside cool waters. And I will make my mountains into level paths for them.” As you will see from the photos, there were both beautiful mountains and cool waters at camp. It was a time of refreshing. A time to be reminded of God’s creative powers and “rest” in Him.
2. There is a whole generation of young men and women who are in need of hearing about God’s miracles in OUR lives. Psalm 71:18 says, “Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.” I was able to participate in some small groups and share ways God has transformed my life. The generations coming behind us need to know more than just “about God.” They need to know how He works in the lives of men and women! I pray that the personal testimonies from the counselors will nourish their faith. (In addition to the small groups, I also took my one and only copy of My Life, Unscripted … and one of the teen girls borrow it to read it. I still haven’t gotten it back yet. I think it’s being passed around!)
3. We all need direction for our day … and discipline. As you can imagine, we couldn’t let 70 kids run wild and do their own thing. We set clear boundaries and planned their day. And when they got out of line we did correct them, but we did so gently. “I know, Lord, that a person’s life is not his own. No one is able to plan his own course. So correct me, Lord, but please be gentle.” Jeremiah 10:23-24
4. We all need to take time in our day to fill our stomachs and our souls with the good things of God. And you can be sure EVERYONE comes running when they hear the dinner bell! “The eyes of all wait for You [looking, watching, and expecting] and You give them their food in due season. Psalm 145:15 (Amplified Bible)
5. At camp one’s eyes are open to see spiritual needs and their mouths are quick to speak truth to those with softened hearts. If only we were so in tune with God’s work in the lives around us all the time! “At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew 10:19 NLT
6. Today can be the day of salvation. And for two dozen kids at the camp, it was! It is a wonderful thing to know that these children accepted the greatest gift ever … Christ. “I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God! For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation and draped me in a robe of righteousness. Isaiah 61:10
7. There is joy and excitement in praising God. If we were face-to-face I’d show you hand motions to some of the songs I learned! “My mouth’s full of great praise for God. I’m singing his hallelujah’s surrounded by crowds.” Psalm 109:30

Yes, everything I know about God I was reminded about at summer camp!

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 11:49 AM 0 comments

Guest Blogger...Cara Putnam

My parents visited last week. I always love having them come. We simply enjoy each other. And I know Dad will always have a new song for me to listen to. He goes through favorite songs like some people go through chocolate.

A few weeks ago his favorite song was Lifesong by Casting Crowns. (I tell you, he is a cool Dad!) Then it was something else. Now it’s Moving Forward by Free Chapel. In a few weeks, I just about guarantee it’ll be something new. But for right now, it’s Moving Forward. If you’ve never heard it, hie thee to iTunes and buy it. It is amazing. The lyrics have run through my mind as if on a loop for the last week. If the words could truly work into my spirit to the point that I believed them completely, they would be life changing.

Have anything in your past that you regret? Anything happen to you that impacted you even though it wasn’t your fault? Feel out of control and hating it?

Then sing with me.

“Not going back, moving ahead

I’m here to declare to you my past is over

In you all things are made new

Surrender my life to Christ

Moving, moving forward”

I love it. All thing are made new in Christ. We all know that verse. But do we expect Him to really do that? Or do we get in the way? Or do we believe He’ll do that for everyone but us? That somehow we aren’t worthy of that promise?

“You make all things new

You make all things new

You make all things new

I will follow you forward.”

I know there are areas in my life that I need Christ to breath new life into. I need the promise that He does make all things new. That I won’t look back, but will move forward. Regardless of the past. Regardless of the present. Because I trust Him with the future. And I will follow. Wherever He leads.

The past is over. The future lies ahead. Move with me into that. Whatever Christ has for us, let’s surrender and say, “Yes, Lord.” Throw your arms wide. Say Lord take me. Whatever You can use, keep. Whatever You can’t, transform as You make me new.

Let’s walk into the future with Him, one step at a time. I can’t wait to see what He does.

Cara C. Putman
Canteen Dreams -- October 2007; Sandhill Dreams -- May 2008 and Captive
Dreams -- September 2008 (Heartsong Presents)
Deadly Exposure -- June 2008 (LI Suspense)
The Law, Life & Books: http://carasmusings.blogspot.com
Original Writer for Jake Tremaine at Scenes & Beans:
http://kannerlake.blogspot.com

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:11 AM 0 comments

Summer Camp!

Labels: bible, bible studies for children, children, summer camp

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 10:16 AM 0 comments

Do your kids have the “I wannas”?

Check out these books to teach contentment:

Me Too! and Littler Critter: Just So Thankful! by Mercer Mayer

The Berenstain Bears and the Green-Eyed Monster by Stan and Jan Berestain

Verdi by Janell Cannon

The Big Orange Splot by D. Manus Pinkwater

When Jesse Came Across the Sea by Amy Hest

A Chair for My Mother by Vera Williams

The Sneeches and Gertrude McFuzz by Dr. Suess

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viost and Ray Cruz

Labels: child rearing, children's books, contentment

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:11 AM 1 comments

Covenant Eyes

Looking for a filter for your home computer?

I just discovered Covenant Eyes. Here is a little bit about who they are and what they are all about from their website:

The Covenant Eyes program was established to change people's lives. We, at Covenant Eyes, have a strong desire to make available to everyone the ability to foster self-control, self-discipline, integrity, and personal accountability when using the Internet. Job 31:1 states, "I have made a covenant with my eyes." It is our stated purpose to provide a tool enabling Internet users to maintain that covenant, regardless of whether their temptation is to pornography, gambling, or simply time spent on the Internet. Our goal is to honor God, our families, and our relationships in the way that we use the Internet by establishing accountability with others. Covenant Eyes is the tool that accomplishes this goal.

A further purpose of the Covenant Eyes program is to provide funding for existing ministries.

We at Covenant Eyes have a passion for battling the problem of Internet pornography. This problem is devastating churches, businesses and families.

We believe that monitoring with accountability is the best means of combating this problem. Covenant Eyes has pioneered Internet monitoring with a software program that provides a complete record of Internet activity on your computer.

Here is the link to their site: http://www.covenanteyes.com/

Labels: accountability, gambling, internet filter, pornography

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 8:31 AM 1 comments

My Life, Unscripted!

It's in stores NOW!

Well, it's only in Barnes and Noble NOW, but I'm super excited about that! If you happen to be in a B&N in the month of August I'd love to hear if you saw my book! If you let me know, I'll enter your name into a drawing to win a $25 dollar gift card to Barnes and Noble (of course you'll have to use part of that to buy a copy of the book--just kidding.)

If you take a photo of the book on the shelf, I'll enter your name into the drawing 10 times!

So RUN, don't walk to the nearest Barnes and Noble...and if you're like me and the nearest one is over 100 miles away feel free to take your car! :)

Also, as you know I'm gearing up to start the blog tour for My Life, Unscripted in September, you can find out more about that here...if you're interested in joining, email my assistant, Amy amy@triciagoyer.com and she'll get you all set up!

And, if you don't have a blog, but would like to help spread the word, look what my friend Susie Larson has done:

Also this week, I received Tricia Goyer's Ezine promoting her new book. She asked us to send this announcement on to anyone who works with teen girls. My sister is a youth pastor so I forwarded the email with the message, "Tricia is a friend and fellow author. Will you consider using this book with your girls?" My sister looked into the book, got excited about it, and ordered a stack for her girls. How cool is that? And how simple it was!

Wow! how cool (and easy is that)! I'd love to send a book to anyone who would like to spread the word! You can read the first chapter here and find out more about the book here!

Labels: barnes and noble, bookstores, contest, promotion, susie larson

posted by Tricia Goyer @ 7:39 AM 0 comments